Well here goes nothing. These legs have pushed me through so much, but I never knew they’d push me through this. I’ve been wanting to write a post about something that has been on my mind for quite a few years now. I’ve dealt with depression and suicidal ideation for some time and I’ve stayed extremely quiet about it. It wasn’t until recently when I opened up to my fiancé Lil that I realized I didn’t have to face this demon alone. Opening up to her allowed me to open up to others that are close to me and seek some kind of help. Out of a few things that really helped me the one thing that sticks out to me the most is getting back in the gym, lifting regularly pushing myself and feeling proud of who I am. Running marathons are still in the back of my mind and I will get back, I promise Coach Liz!
I would be lying if I said that I still don’t get anxiety and the depression doesn’t creep in from time to time but realizing that I can talk about it with someone and do something like lift, cycle or run to affect how I feel have made things so much better.
If you are out there and dealing with anything in your life; always remember that you are not alone! It’s ok to talk about and there are always people out there that want to listen to you. It is time to break the stigma.
I’m glad I found the I DON’T MIND campaign; it’s given me drive to start something new. My next post will be the first manifesto and the first chapter to Lifting With It; a blog series that I hope will help connect people who are dealing with anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation and bring them together to prove that you are not alone. I’ll also be sharing how being physical (lifting and soon back to running) has helped me throughout all this. Let’s talk!